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  • Speaking & Engagements
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April 26, 2016January 19, 2019

Aching Heart and Legs

Haz clic aquí para leer en español

Imminent departure casts a different lens. On this journey, we live there perpetually.

Each moment was poignant as Marcela, Rodrigo, and little Leon walked us through Villa O’Higgins. How overwhelming it is to see an old friend after a long time, how much there is to catch up on. Imagine then all the ground to be covered when you find such a dear friend, having never met before!

After five days together, we were leaving dear friends. It was a sharp pain between my ribs. We had so much yet to establish and catch up on, still so much more ahead to do. Sternly and gently we padded through the streets.
“May this town never have a stoplight and the children continue to rule the streets!” Rodrigo spun a circle in the middle of the road.

image1(1)
Photo Credit: Marcela Stormesan

As a final act, Marcela chatted with a friend and secured us permission to take a very small shortcut out of town, into the trees, up a trail they called the “water tank trail.” She drew open the alambra gate and stood watching us through misty eyes. It hit my heart so hard and in such a spot as that it will remain forever tender, forever soft.

In these moments, I try to be present. In the distances that stretch after, I play with perception. Analogies to put them in context, to make sense of the ache; futile and fulfilling pastime. Over the course of this journey, even before setting foot in Patagonia and especially in these months of walking, we have come and gone so many times. We get a lot of practice.
One way I like to look at it is as building muscles. That with each departure, cells tear. It is a trauma. In the days after, the paces as I process, my heart heals and becomes stronger. No less prone to the tears, still, stronger.

We stepped away from the rawness of the moment and ran straight into a short but steep climb. Once in the misty, mighty woods breath again found my lungs. Our legs protested, but we moved forward, excited for the next length of hiking. To travel along the Ruta de Pioneros. The route the original frontier-people took when they came south from Cochrane to settle in Villa O’Higgins. I knew just enough of the history to be  enthralled, for my imagination to weave color into the stories over the next 160 kilometers.

We move northward, stronger for the ache.

 

Corazón y piernas adoloridas

Traducción por Henry Tovar

 

La partida inminente proyecta una perspectiva diferente. En este viaje, vivimos allí todos los días.

Cada momento era punzante como Marcela, Rodrigo  y el pequeño Leon nos llevaron a través de Villa O´Higgins. Lo abrumador que es ver a un viejo amigo después de mucho tiempo, lo mucho que hay para ponerse al día. imaginence entonces todo el suelo para cubrirse cuando uno se encuentra a un gran amigo, sin nunca haberse visto antes!

 

Después de cinco días juntos, nos íbamos queridos amigos. Era un dolor agudo entre las costillas. Hemos tenido mucho todavía para establecer y ponernos al día, todavía mucho más por delante por hacer. Con seriedad y suavemente nos dirigimos que a través de las calles.  “Qué este pueblo nunca tenga un semáforo y los niños sigan gobernando las calles!” Rodrigo dibujo un circulo en el medio de la carretera. 

 

image1(1)Como acto final, Marcela charlaba con un amigo y nos consigió permiso para tomar un pequeño atajo fuera de la ciudad, entre los árboles, por un sendero que llamaron ´´el rastro del agua´´. Ella dibujó abierta la puerta de la alambrada y se quedó mirándonos con sus ojos empañados. Se golpeó mi corazón tan duro y en un lugar en el que permanecerá por siempre tierno, por siempre suave.

 

En estos momentos, trato  de estar presente. En las distancias que se extienden después, juego con la percepción. Analogías para ponerlos en contexto, tener sentido del dolor; pasatiempo inútil y satisfactorio.  En el transcurso de este viaje, incluso antes de poner un pie en la Patagonia y sobre todo en estos meses de caminar, nos hemos ido y venido tantas veces. Tenemos un montón de práctica. Una forma me gusta verlo es como la construcción de los músculos. Que con cada partida, las células desgarran. En un trauma.  En los días posteriores, a medida que proceso, mi corazón sana y se hace más fuerte.  No menos propenso a las lágrimas, todavía, más fuertes.

 

Nos alejamos de la crudeza del momento y corrimos directamente en una corta subida empinada. Una vez en el brumoso y poderoso bosque respiro encontraron mis pulmones de nuevo. Nuestras piernas protestaron, pero se movieron hacia adelante, excitadas por la siguiente longitud del senderismo. Para viajar a lo largo de la Ruta de los Pioneros. La ruta de la frontera – gente originaria que tomaron cuando llegaron al sur de Cochrane a instalarse en Villa O´higgins. Yo sabía lo suficiente de historia para ser cautivada, para mi imaginación para tejer color en la historia de los próximos 160 kilometros.

Nos movemos hacía el norte, más fuertes para el dolor.  

 

Posted in En Español, Fidgit, Her Odyssey, Uncategorized
3 Comments
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Comments (3)

  • keyworthgraphics April 26, 2016 at 8:07 pm Reply

    carry on…carry on. your paths will cross again!

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  • Clifford B. Rawley April 27, 2016 at 8:56 am Reply

    Thanks again for your wise, thoughtful, and descriptive commentary about your journey and adventures on the way.
    Cliff and Martha Rawley

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  • Edward Schneider April 27, 2016 at 12:31 pm Reply

    Stretching with the fabric of life we grow, are touched and moved. Thank you, much love!

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From our gingerbread and graham cracker village in Keystone, CO to you and yours. ❄️
10 days in silence at Suan Mokkh Hermitage ~~~~~ 10 days in silence at Suan Mokkh Hermitage

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Excerpts from 'Going Home' by Thich Nhat Hanh:

When you practice the bell of mindfulness, you breathe in, and you listen deeply to the sound of the bell, and you say, "Listen, listen." Then you breathe out and you say, "This wonderful sound brings me back to my true home. Our true home is something we all want to go back to. Some of us feel we don't have a home.

Does a wave have a home? When a wave looks deeply into herself, she will realize the presence of all the other waves. When we are mindful, fully living each moment of our daily lives, we may realize that everyone and everything around us is our home.

Isn't it true that the air we breathe is our home, that the blue sky, the rivers, the mountains, the people around us, the trees, and the animals are our home? 

A wave looking deeply into herself will see that she is made up of all the other waves and will no longer feel she is cut off from everything around her. She will be able to recognize that the other waves are also her home. 

When you practice walking meditation, walk in such a way that you recognize your home, in the here and the now. See the trees as your home, the air as your home, the blue sky as your home, and the earth that you tread as your home. This can only be done in the here and the now.

Sometimes we have a feeling of alienation. We feel lonely and as if we are cut off from everything. We have been a wanderer and have tried hard but have never been able to reach our true home. However, we all have a home, and this is our practice, the practice of going home.

When we say, "Home sweet home," where is it? When we practice looking deeply, we realize that our home is everywhere. We have to be able to see that the trees are our home and the blue sky is our home. It looks like a difficult practice, but it's really easy. You only need to stop being a wanderer in order to be at home. "Listen, listen. This wonderful sound brings me back to my true home."

What is the home of a wave? The home of the wave is all the other waves, and the home of the wave is water.
Grateful to work with brands like @toaksoutdoor wh Grateful to work with brands like @toaksoutdoor who keep it real.

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Temples around Chiang Mai. 🐉 🛕 #traveltip: bring Temples around Chiang Mai. 🐉 🛕

#traveltip: bring shoes comfy for walking and easy to slip on and off, as you take shoes and hats off at the entrance to all temples and most homes.

Travel tip for women: have clothing which covers your knees and shoulders before entering temples. Bring a wrap or something easy to pack along for a day of hoofing it!
⛱️ in the ☃️ and the Pacific was good to me. Lon ⛱️ in the ☃️ and the Pacific was good to me. 

Long strolls and sits, digging for hot springs treasure in beach sand, kayaking coastline, and so much more.

Ever grateful to México for being generous and welcoming neighbors.

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On these new moon nights, I warm my heart thinking through matters of gratitude since the last full moon. Approaching Solstice, may we do the same with the revolution of the year; ReflecT, while those of us in the northern hemisphere are wrapped in darkness. Shine, for those in the southern.

A few of my dark & lights:

Best laid plans going horribly awry, sitting still with the fear and hurt, trusting my gut to lead the way through uncertainty to unexpected delights and the sort of folk who nurture and reconstitute joy, hope, and spirit rather than prey on and drain it. Practicing boundaries with both.

-Cozy @farmtofeet socks just right for the season
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